what is love?

seriously, how do you answer that question? there are a million, gazillion, different approaches, and there are even more possible answers.
i suppose when i was younger (and played with mr and mrs dolls) i thought that love was easy, straight-forward. you met a gorgeous guy, you get married, buy a house, get a dog, have kids. thats it - the end - happily ever after. as i grew up and gotten to know guys and started dating i got a reality check. ALL that i felt was hurt, pain, worthlessness and, sometimes, nothing. i asked, where is love? it obviously wasnt here - so i gave up on the idea. when i started reaching 16 i had a good number of best guy friends - and for once i felt good, and warm, and all fuzzy inside. this led me to question my idea of what love actually is. was it all white dresses, black tuxedos and seychelles honeymoons; or was it deeper? was it the ability to see someone completely, to stare into their eyes and see all the way into their soul, see all the person that they are and still live them with every single cell in your body?

i guess you'll never know until you have enough courage to open yourself to another human being - to let them look at your flaws and hope that the still love you; to allow them to have total control over your heart and your happiness and still trust them with that.

i guess we all have to have hope - someday, i know that i WILL meet a guy who will be my best friend, the ying to my yang, my soulmate, my air and my reason for living. i hope that, then, love will be as easy as talking and as natural as breathing. then, my heart wont be mine anymore and my chest will barely contain it.

i hope it will be wonderful.

the sniffles

well, today is an absolutely miserable day here in rainy killough, and i think that the weather is making my cold come back with a vengeance. *sad face*

on the bright side, im finally caught up on glee, made in chelsea, mcfly on the wall and gavin and stacey.

is it weird that i actually like the rain? i know its cold, and grey and everything but there is just something soothing about it. i think its the fact that im sitting inside with a blanket and a good cup of jasmine green tea and the rian is outside. plus you can get some really awesome photos in the rain... i like the patterns it makes on glass. *happy face*

SUMMER!!

can you believe that it's SIX MONTHS since the last time i blogged. not that i'm a great blogger or anything, but still, SIX MONTHS is a pretty shocking length of time.

currently my brain is having it's own little party because it's celebrating being finally FREE from revision. no more late nights, panic attacks or mini break downs. well, atleast not for a wee while...then the worrying about the results shall commence. the grades that i need for uni are REALLY high, so i'm just praying that i've done enough to get the A*AAA that i need for dublin... if that fails then i'm hoping i get AA for queens.

this actually raises an interesting question... WHY ON EARTH AM I DOING A DEGREE WITH SUCH HIGH GRADE BOUNDARIES?!? i mean, am i out of my mind or something?! the truth is, im being sensible... law is a brilliant degree to have; and although i love politics more than anything in the world a degree in just politics won't help me much in my career. furthermore, i can always to a masters in politics. which would be AWESOME! =D

on a less boring topic, i now have the time to catch up on glee, made in chelsea and feed my mcfly addiction which has recently re-surfaced with the release of their new single "party girl". and, i just think tom and dougie are simply eatable. nomnomnom ;)

<3

there is this big massive spherical sculpture in newcastle and its just, intriguing.

my lack of motivation for anything these days is shocking. even a little bit of blogging is too much. therefore, i, naturally, google "things to blog about" and i found this quite interesting wee webpage...
(this is the part where you click on the link and go see the page so you will be able to understand what im on about next... )

http://www.chrisbrogan.com/100-blog-topics-i-hope-you-write/

okay, so number 28 caught my eye. "a hard look at my media habits". by media, im guessing that includes mobile, laptop, tv etc? well, to be honest tv doesnt play a huge part in my life as i have no time to watch anything but the news these days. my mobile keeps me in touch with friends and some tweets from people i follow (like george craig from ono and henry holland) and good news channels (like the ny times and the guardian). i suppose the biggest media thing in my life is my laptop - and when i say it plays a big part i mean it plays a HUGE part! firstly, there is this wee thing called facebook. which i do have a slight addiction to but im cutting donw. then, there is twitter - which, tbh, is less addictive than facebook and more useful, so i make to apologies for loving it. then there is websites like bbc iplayer and 4od which are just so awesome i cant put it in words. and lastly, seeing as i am in my last year of school and making college applications i check my UCAS status every day (and more than once a day) just to see if any more offers have come in. =)

well, thats my media habits dissected. hope you had fun. =P

...

i know its clichéd, but, i love my cat. and, okay, she is a wee monkey and scrabs and bites the life out of me sometimes - but she is someone i can talk to that wont tell anyone else what ive said. and if she does, it will be just another cat and humans wont understand it.

snow

on the bright side we did have some lovely white stuff over the festive season. and no, not cocaine, you filthy minded people. SNOW! i love it.