what is love?

seriously, how do you answer that question? there are a million, gazillion, different approaches, and there are even more possible answers.
i suppose when i was younger (and played with mr and mrs dolls) i thought that love was easy, straight-forward. you met a gorgeous guy, you get married, buy a house, get a dog, have kids. thats it - the end - happily ever after. as i grew up and gotten to know guys and started dating i got a reality check. ALL that i felt was hurt, pain, worthlessness and, sometimes, nothing. i asked, where is love? it obviously wasnt here - so i gave up on the idea. when i started reaching 16 i had a good number of best guy friends - and for once i felt good, and warm, and all fuzzy inside. this led me to question my idea of what love actually is. was it all white dresses, black tuxedos and seychelles honeymoons; or was it deeper? was it the ability to see someone completely, to stare into their eyes and see all the way into their soul, see all the person that they are and still live them with every single cell in your body?

i guess you'll never know until you have enough courage to open yourself to another human being - to let them look at your flaws and hope that the still love you; to allow them to have total control over your heart and your happiness and still trust them with that.

i guess we all have to have hope - someday, i know that i WILL meet a guy who will be my best friend, the ying to my yang, my soulmate, my air and my reason for living. i hope that, then, love will be as easy as talking and as natural as breathing. then, my heart wont be mine anymore and my chest will barely contain it.

i hope it will be wonderful.