flaws.

okay, so FLAWS. everyone has them - and nobody is perfect. (apart from jesus).

i have TONNES of flaws. honestly. i dont like the way my face goes red all the time, i dont like my tummy (its wierd), my toes need some growth hormones and my thighs are like tree trunks. there are probably WAAY more stuff that i forgot to mention, but you get my drift.

i think that having flaws is realistic, and human, and, well, real. if you dont have flaws - if you have freckle-less and pimple-less skin and a tiny stick thin body - you just arent human! like, seriously, were you made in china or something?! OR, a better question might be - is your boyfriend called ken cause you are just as plastic as barbie. or more if you had a boob job. *shudder*

plus, being a bit different is really AWESOME! i mean, who WANTS to be just like everyone else and who the heck wants to be a clone?!?!?!! like, WHO?

i think you gotta love your flaws - they just make you you. if you just accept yourself and love yourself for who you are, you are an awesome person. and i love you for it! and everyone else will too.

so, go be awesome, and remember, YOUR FLAWS AND FLAWLESS. <3

L.B.P

so, today, i am ranting about low blood pressure.
firstly, it sucks. i mean, it really REALLY sucks.
i first found out that i have low blood pressure when i passed out in church. for the second time. the first time, i was 12 and it was the easter service, the church was packed and i wasnt well already... so we did nothing about it. but, the SECOND time, it was in church again... and i was sitting beside mum, and i felt really sick, and dizzy and my ears felt all muffled. and then the next thing i remember was waking up under the pew on the floor. mum said i was convulsing a bit - and i was upset that i freaked her out. but it really was NOT a good time for anyone. after that, we went to the GP and he told me i had low blood pressure. YAY! not.
its not something that plays a MAJOR part in my life - i mean i cant sit up too fast, and i have to be careful after i give blood - but apart from that its okay-ish. but today really pissed me off. i was doing my usual jog/fast walk thing and i felt my self going. i mean really going - muffled hearing, heart feeling funny and i couldnt breathe fully. (i think that the laryngitis doesnt help because i keep wheezing now-a-days). i had to sit down for a while, and i stupidly left my mobile at home... =(
i am not a happy wee bunny today. =O

but, on the upside i am ADDICTED to this guy > http://www.youtube.com/user/ShaneDawsonTV. truly, madly, deeply addicted. the videos just make me laugh SOOOO much, and they pick me up after a sucky day. <3

awesome-ness

yes, yes, the photo is back to front or whatever way it is.
its just a wee photo - of a page from a little notebook of mine - which makes me smile. and today has been a day when i need a wee smile. even for a minute.
=)

happiness =)

i though that in this lovely post i might do some pondering. and, yes... i am fully aware of all the dangers of said action: like a sore head and extremely frazzled emotions and/or nerves.

so, i think the topic of choice, now, would be happiness. because, to be honest it been an issue of hot debate in my head for a wee while.
realistically, and personally, i think that happiness is something that you find for yourself. its not something that can be given, or bought, or made. i mean, yes - if chocolate cake makes you happy then go make a cake. or buy one. =P i mean, you cant create a happiness if its not there - you cant forge a happy state of mind or a happy situation.
i suppose i have to explain what i mean by find, right? well - i believe that there are two types of happy people in the world; those who are just happy ALL the time and those who have to find that happy feeling (not ALL the time, just occasionally).
i suppose finding happiness is kinda hard. you have the things that make you happy for a short while - like the chocolate cake mentioned above, or a good movie (speed racer and dirty dancing being my favorites). then you have the things that give you a longer high - running (works a treat), spending time with family (long walks) and friends (boy spotting and hmv =D) and a really good holiday (greece and turkey being my current hot-spots). BUT what can really, truly, madly, deeply, make you ecstatic with endorphins which create that lovely trippy feeling of pure happiness?!

after all this "pondering" (cough talking crap cough cough =P) i think i believe that this will remain a mystery for a little while longer. well, at least it will to me. =D

p.s. yes, that is a picture of me trying to eat a flag. i love it. its from st. pats day with some of the people that i love with all my heart. that day was like a cuddly hug to my inside. =D

Doctor Who - Matt Smith Shower Scene

isnt he just fit?! i know he looke like a young frankenstein, but still, ya would. twice. =P

laryngitis

okay, well, as i already told you that i was going to the doctor to get some antibiotics for a sore throat and cold/flu like symptoms... well, i turns out i have blooming LARYNGITIS. FML. =(

i got antibiotics, and its the third day of them now... and, realistically, you would think they would have worked by now, right? well, they havent. so, i am in bed, not talking, not eating and basically not doing anything. AND ITS KILLING ME!!!!! i had to re-schedule my flute lesson, and i might even have to change my work experience as well. oh FML. like seriously.

the only thing keeping me alive is dirty dancing, glee re-runs and doctor who. =D

okay, well, i officially give up. i am totally dying of the cold - personally i think that it is actually a flu, but im not a doctor. =S im going to see one tomorrow, and i think he will give me some antibiotics to make me better. its defo the thing that mum had - i have all the same symptoms that she had; sore head, ache-y limbs, bunged up nose and a ripping throat. =(
away from the subject of my aweful state, today was a surprisingly good day... i had my first driving lesson today. and it was bloody brilliant. my teachers name is collum vaughn, and he is the guy that taught my mum. he is really nice, and really funny. he picked me up at 3pm, at my house. and then he drove up the road a little bit and we did the cockpit drill - DSSSM; and that stands for doors, seatbelt, steering wheel, signaling and mirrors. after that we did some gently stopping and starting - which was actually kinda scary. but what he made me do after that was even scarier - he made me drive through killough. as in through the whole village. and then out the main road, and round rossglass. it was bloody scary. i can change gears, and i can kinda drive - but im too much in the ditch. BUT there was one wee moment when we bumped into tractor and he had to take over the pedals - but apart from that i was driving solo. =D

thinking is a dangerous business

okay, well, there is some minor news. EXAMS ARE FINISHED!!!!!!! it just feels way good to have no more pressures and no more crap to learn. YAY! although... i am beginning to think that i am suicidal. because i have next years reading materials for english AND i have about 20 law books to read for uni. meh. AND i have LNAT past papers. gosh, i really am a geek.

second, i was pondering the idea of l'avenir. and, yes, i had to say it in french. it just sounds so much more better in a foreign language. its just sort of scary. i mean, this time, two years from now, ill be at uni (hopefully), doing a degree that i adore (i hope) and i hope ill be happy. but, that aint the scary part. the scary part is that ill be away from my family, my second family a.k.a my friends. ill be in a different country (maybe), but ill most definitely be out of my comfort zone. AAAAARGHHH!!!!!! =O honestly, if i think about this too much i start to hyperventilate.

well, that picture really describes what i am like at the moment. it has been an interesting few weeks to say the least. maths has been killing me slowly, politics paper one destroyed my soul and made me want to run out of the exam hall screaming for my mummy. =S politics paper two was hard, but fair... so i just have english and maths to look forward to. YAY!!!! =(